I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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