i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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