I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
