think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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