you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
