You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
