don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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