I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's no shave November. This is our time.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
