We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You're like the curious george of whores
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize