She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
