And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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