Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
