Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
