Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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