she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
