I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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