I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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