Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
