He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
