No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
