Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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