This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
