How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
