you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I will be naked everywhere
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
