Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
