Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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