Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
