dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
