Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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