69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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