You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
