I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
