I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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