nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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