sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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