Just cropdusted the office
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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