Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
