i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
