cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
