so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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