Do you still have your period?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
