she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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