I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
