Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
