this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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