he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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