My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
