Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
