Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
