so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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