oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
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