Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
