so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
