He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i drank out of a bidet.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
