On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I am mentally ready for anal.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
