Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
