I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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