She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
